Sunday, September 23, 2007

Witty opinion plays on Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs & Ham

Click on the title to this post to read a story in today’s Boston Globe by Matt Viser, about the New Hampshire Federal District Court Judge James R. Muirhead. In a suit by a prisoner complaining about the kosher diet provided him by the prison kitchen, Judge Muirhead received a motion for an injunction from the inmate, with an enclosed hard boiled egg. The complainant wants the kitchen to stop giving him boiled eggs for breakfast, requesting doughnuts and danish instead. The judge responded to the egg stunt with an order based on the Dr. Seuss book, Green Eggs and Ham:

No fan I am
Of the egg at hand.
Just like no ham
On the kosher plan.

This egg will rot
I kid you not.
And stink it can
This egg at hand.

There will be no eggs at court
To prove a clog in your aort.
There will be no eggs accepted.
Objections all will be rejected.

From this day forth
This court will ban
hard-boiled eggs of any brand.
And if you should not understand
The meaning of the ban at hand
Then you should contact either Dan,
the Deputy Clerk, or my clerk Jan.

I do not like eggs in the file.
I do not like them in any style.
I will not take them fried or boiled.
I will not take them poached or broiled.
I will not take them soft or scrambled
Despite an argument well-rambled.

No fan I am
Of the egg at hand.
Destroy that egg!
Today! today!
Today I say! without delay!

SO ORDERED (with apologies to Dr. Seuss)
The article goes on to reference a few other witty, recent judicial decisions.

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