We are in what the Catholic Church is pleased to call the Octave of St. Valentine’s Day. So, here is my Valentine’s note, for you!
Honey, I Do!
I offer you my favorite tip for long-lasting relationships. I flatter myself I have some room to talk, since my husband and I will be celebrating our 28th anniversary this May. Whether we’re talking marriage or something less formal, the magic for long term stability is found in those two little words from the marriage ceremony: I Do. As in, “Honey, I do love the way you make that pot roast!” Or, “Dear, I do appreciate you taking out the trash!” How about, “Sweetheart, I do like having a lunch date with you each week!”
Nobody likes to be taken for granted, and “I do” is the magic phrase to practice noticing the little things your sweetie pie does every day. The grand gestures of romance, like expensive restaurants, flowers and dancing will only take you so far. For the long term, you have to notice and appreciate the little everyday things, and say so. It’s an easy thing to overlook, especially while you’re a tad busy with law or library school, children, career or life in general. But it’s a worthwhile habit to cultivate; you’re never going to be less busy than you are now. Life just keeps going faster!
If you can’t think what to say “I do” about, just try this law school style hypothetical. What if your sweetie suddenly weren’t there? What would not get done? Is it the dishes being washed? Laundry sorted, washed or folded? How about sweeping floors, or meeting you at the train? Watching children, taking them to the doctor, meeting teachers? Taking the car for tune-ups and gassing it up? I guarantee, you’ll think of a quick list of little every day chores to be grateful for.
So, when you pick up a valentine card for your honey this year, or even when you send a note to a friend or relative, add a little “Honey, I do” note, and sign it with a kiss or a hug. It takes practice to make “I do” last through the year, but it’s a worthwhile investment.